Self-esteem: Me, Myself and I

Who am I? Who do I want to be? How do I want to be seen? Do I care about what people think of me?

Some questions you might ask yourself and often struggle with in life, your answers will tell you a lot about what kind of self-esteem you have.

“Self-esteem is an individual’s subjective evaluation of their own worth, encompassing beliefs about oneself, for example, “I am unloved”, “I am worthy” (Hewitt, 2009)

Self-esteem is important because it determines how you approach life; what you do with the opportunities and choices you are given and essentially it determines how you experience life.  It affects how motivated you are to reach your goals, how much you believe in yourself and how passionately you follow your dreams.

If you have high self-esteem; you accept yourself, believe in yourself and are confident about the decisions you make.  You have a sense of “being” yourself and often do not fear being judged or feel like you need approval from others.

Having low self-esteem might hold you back from achieving your goals and hinder you from maximizing your potential as you will navigate through life always having the perception that you are not good enough or you do not have what it takes to succeed and go forward in life.

We all struggle with self-esteem at some point in our lives because we live in a world dominated by social media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. are platforms where people basically advertise themselves and show what they have accomplished to the world.  The problem is that a lot of what is being shown are fake.

We are conditioned to belief that success is measured by what we own and by what age we can show that, for example a house, a fancy car, or a successful career.  Comparing ourselves with others can make us feel that we have achieved what society expect of us, but it can also make us feel not good enough and make us feel like we are failing when we do not have what we think we should have.

Negative thinking equals low self-esteem and that is not how you want to approach life.

It is so important to realise that you are your own person, there is only one of you! Everyone’s circumstances are unique; and everyone handles what life throws at them differently.  It is important to focus on who you are, where you want to be and on what you need to do to get there. 

It takes time to build up your self-esteem so surround yourself with the people you look up to; learn from them, put yourself out there and remember the difference between who you are and who you want to be, depends on how you think and how you approach what you do.

Hewitt, John P. (2009). Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology. Oxford University Press. pp. 217–24. ISBN 978-0195187243.